Joe, Honestly, the server didn't raise any red flags for me. It was a normal to above-normal level of server attentiveness. Then again, in this incident I proved to be less observant than the other members of my party. I did go and file a complaint with the Neptune PD. As expected, they didn't think they had anything for charges, but (at my urging) they did attempt to follow-up with the member of my party who noticed the tail. - Dan
On 04/20/2023 4:31 AM Joseph Giliberti via vcf-midatlantic <vcf-midatlantic@lists.vcfed.org> wrote:
IMO, go ahead and punish the restaurant. It's a dive bar. When I used to hang out around that area, it was generally a place avoided by myself and any other LGBT people I knew, and this was prior to 2016. If we wanted a bar, we went to Asbury Park somewhere near Cookman Ave. Dan, you said your server was attentive. Does that mean that they were cool and wanted to help out their patrons, or that they wanted your group out of the place as soon as possible? Overall, the Monmouth shore towns tend to be very friendly and accommodating towards LGBT people (especially Asbury and Ocean Grove.) I have no doubt that a report to Neptune PD would be taken seriously. It would likely be added to a list of other incidents reports of things occuring at that bar.
Just my $0.02 Joe Giliberti
On Wed, Apr 19, 2023 at 10:20 PM rstaab via vcf-midatlantic < vcf-midatlantic@lists.vcfed.org> wrote:
Before punishing the restaurant, maybe reach out and see what they can do to assist. (Do they have video that helps ID the person for example.)Your email seemed to say the restaurant was attentive to your party.On the other hand if they routinely allow in people like who assaulted your acquaintance, that's a black mark. -------- Original message --------From: Dan FitzGerald via vcf-midatlantic <vcf-midatlantic@lists.vcfed.org> Date: 4/19/23 10:05 PM (GMT-05:00) To: vcf-midatlantic <vcf-midatlantic@lists.vcfed.org> Cc: Dan FitzGerald < danjfitzgerald@comcast.net> Subject: Re: [vcf-midatlantic] OT Almost hate crimed at Kelly's after VCF East Jeff,I'm talking to my party to have them report it to the Neptune PD in themorning. I'll also call the Neptune PD and ask for their LGBTQ liaisonofficer, and forward them the email I sent to the mailing list(hopefully with the HTML preserved).Also: I fail to see how this is off-topic. The only reason I even tookmy party to that restaurant was because I was previously brought therefor a group dinner during a VCF Mid-Atlantic repair workshop. I wantto put a stake in the ground to make sure that we don't do a groupdinner there again.On Wed, 2023-04-19 at 18:33 -0400, Jeff S via vcf-midatlantic wrote:> We've been to Kelly's several times before during Workshop events. I> neverexpected that kind of behavior from people who patronize that> pace. If I'mthinking of the correct restaurant, it's the one that's> kind of on arounded corner, with an odd parking layout, and has a mix> of indoor andoutdoor seating.> If you don't want to report it to the police, report it to the> restaurant.Their response to such a report should let you know if> this was an isolatedincident. We're all behind you on this.> Jeff Salzman> On Wed, Apr 19, 2023 at 3:37 PM danjfitzgerald via vcf-midatlantic <> vcf-midatlantic@lists.vcfed.org> wrote:> > Forward: I am sending this out not as an accusation, but as a> > cautionarytale. VCF East was amazing and the wonderful folks at> > VCF East and VCFMid-Atlantic had nothing to do with this. That> > being said, this almosthappened to my co-exhibitors and myself> > after we left the event and I dontknow what I can do about it other> > than warn everybody else.On Sunday, my2.5 co-exhibitors and myself> > were some of the last to leave InfoAge, andwent out for a> > celebratory dinner. We've all been a little "homeless"since the> > traditional VCF Mid-Atlantic haunt closed this winter, and I> > findThe Brickhouse too TV intensive for dinner, and try to stick to> > locallyowned places if I can. I suggested Kelly's in Neptune as> > that was one ofthe places that VCF Mid-Atlantic tried out when> > looking for a new go-todinner place last year.I didnt notice much> > of anything at the time, and thefull details didnt come to light> > until two of my co-exhibitors exchangedstories after we had safely> > returned home to Connecticut. But when theydid, a disturbing> > picture emerged. On the way in, we passed a larger whitegentleman> > wearing a black hoodie with white American flag and other symbolson> > it. I didnt register this, but he seemed to clock that at least> > onemember of my group was Transgender. We were entering in single-> > file; whenhe encountered the last person in our line he made an> > attempt to body slamher against the wall. She dodged him and said> > "Hi, how are you doing?" asshe walked past him. Since we were> > walking in single file, she was theonly one that saw this, and she> > didn't say anything to the rest of ourgroup.During the meal, at> > least one couple at the bar glared at us while weate, while the> > manager made a harried attempt to check in on us.Everything was> > uneventful otherwise, excepting the chef having no idea thatcorned> > beef and cabbage is supposed to be serverd brisket style. At> > leastthey knew how to clean their taps.Our unofficial third co-> > presenter is aninfosec specialist and has trained themself to take> > operational securityvery seriously; whenever they enter a room or a> > parking lot or whatever,they scan for possible threats. They were> > also our driver that night. Theyleft the restaraunt first and>
noticed two large men with black hoodiesstanding behind a pickup> > truck, talking and smoking cigarettes. When themore obviously> > transgender members of our party came out, they noticed thetwo men> > nod at each other, throw away their cigarettes and get into> > theirtruck. We made it into our car and they pretended to mess> > with the GPSwhile noting that the truck just sat idling. When we> > started to back out,they noticed the truck turn its brake lights> > on. We pulled out and thetruck followed us. We drove to 35 and> > Belmar Avenue and then blew throughthe yield, allowing for a car> > coming out of the QuickCheck to get betweenus and the truck. Then> > we were able to lose the tail.Because the person inmy party who> > almost got body checked and the person driving our car chosenot to> talk about it, we didnt realize until dinner back in> > Connecticutthat this had happened. Also, the description that one> > person gave of "bodycheck man" matched the description the other> > person gave of one of thepickup truck men.The purpose of this story> > is to document what happened tous on Sunday night following VCF> > East, and to also let the VCF Mid-Atlanticcommunity know of the> > kind of people who patron Kelly's in Neptune.Yoursalways,Dan> > FitzGeraldSent via the Samsung Galaxy S8 Active, an AT&T> > 5GEvolution capable smartphoneRegards,Dan FitzGerald